Minnesota Beard-Off

The third annual championship of Minnesota's greatest beards. Sponsored by City Pages and Yelp!


Judges

The following beard enthusiasts will judge all beards. Feel free to pander to them.

Dustin Black


A native Nebraskan, Dustin Black transplanted himself to the Minnesota 10 years ago. Seeing a void in the national beard conversation, he started the website thebeardly.com in January 2009 as a celebration of man’s greatest achievement: the beard.

When not sifting through beard photos, Dustin can be found making ad things at mono in Uptown.

He is also the co-author of “The Book of SPAM” and maintains another hobby website, kittytoupee.com. He lives in Como Park with his wife, a diabetic cat, and his 6-month old beard.

Dustin’s criteria:

  • Length of Beard – Size does matter. (10%)
  • Density of Beard – Does the beard say “I am a man” or “I have
    pubic hair on my face.” (10%)
  • Age – Old dudes grow better beards, period. (10%)
  • Back-story – Is there a story with this beard? (10%)
  • Style – Does the face support the beard, or does the beard
    support the face. (10%)
  • General Manliness – Does your beard demand respect with hairy
    fists of rage or does it sit down to pee? (50%)

Jon Friedman


Jon Friedman is a Minnesota native who is proud of his beard heritage and has sported facial hair since he was in his early teens. In 2007, he made his competition debut at the World Beard and Moustache Championships in Brighton, England, and was the youngest competitor at the championships at the age of 19. Since then, Jon has become an even more avid bearder, trying to bring the light of beardlihood to others who would see the path.

Jon’s criteria:

  • Manliness: Facial hair is a manly endeavor, so how manly does your growth make you? (40% points)
  • Presentation: Cleanliness, neat lines, and good shape make a lot of difference. (40% points)
  • Beardlihood (subjectivity criterion): Show a commitment to your facial hair, that you aren’t just a fairweather bearder. (20%)
  • For the freestyle category: Creativity and Imagination (to replace manliness, worth 40%)

Courtney McLean

Courtney McLean is an actress, writer, storyteller, improviser, comedian, and musician.  She is a proud original member and current co-managing director of Rockstar Storytellers, a solo-performer collective in the Twin Cities.  Her one-woman shows, “Normal-C” and “Super Glossy!” have toured to Fringe Festivals across the nation. She’ll be taking her latest solo endeavor ”Courtney McLean is (not as) Obsessed With Sex (as one might think)” on tour in 2013.  Courtney has performed locally with Ferrari McSpeedy Theatrical Productions, Four Humors Theater, Freshwater Theatre, Sandbox Theatre, Theatre Arlo, Girl Friday Productions, and Maximum Verbosity, and she’s appeared on Celebrity Autobiography, KFAI, Works Progress’ Salon Saloon and Give & Take, Sample Night Live, MPR’s In The Loop & Art Hounds, and Women Stand-Up Comedy Cabaret. She is the bandleader of Courtney McClean & The Dirty Curls, pioneers of naughtybilly: sexually explicit comedy country music.  www.dirtycurls.net.  Courtney also performs improvisational theater with Batgirls, JANESSA!, and bi-weekly at the Brave New Workshop Student Union’s Six Ring Circus with Track Team.

Courtney’s criteria:

Commitment  (40%)

  • Fullness
  • Length
  • Grooming/Style (40%)
    • Presentation
    • Is your beard/moustache well-kept?  It’s your face:  care for it!
    • Is it dyed?  If so, does that add or detract from the look?
    • Does the beard/moustache become you?  (just because it’s an awesome Fu Manchu, doesn’t mean it looks good on you)
  • Kissability (20%)
    • No food in the beard.
    • Clean around the mouth
    • Does your beard encumber your ability to talk?
    • Will it tangle with my lower beard?
  • Freestyle Category (40% – replaces “commitment”)
    • Thinking outside the follicles:  Creativity/Imagination: the further “out there,” the better.